Check out my poem (read the details)!!! What you think!?
This poem is the sequel to this poem:
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Tell me what you think of it!!!
I've loved you since our eyes first met,
I'll love you till i die!.
I love that cheeky smile of yours
each time you try to lie!.
You always did just what was right
you never gave an inch
and so at last when war broke out
you didnt even flinch!.
They shaped you up, and shipped you out,
so far across the sea!.
Your final words you shouted were
that you'd come home to me!.
But all seemed lost, not one reply
the war had reached it's end
The troops returned, but you did not,
my heart would never mend!.
And so i found a loving man
to help me through this phase!.
We settled down and had some kids,
twas like a pleasant daze!.
But then i saw you standing there
out by the willow tree
I'll not forget your look of shock
as you gazed in at me!.
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This poem is truly magnificent, you have the mark of a great writer!.
Your description of how perfect love is torn apart by worldly vices is beautiful, the tragic ending so fitting!. The way you showed how nothing can stay as perfect as it once was, and that nothing is as lovely as it seems, was so true, so poignant!. It was amazing how you showed how the speaker tried to settle with something else, tried to fill the empty space left behind by their beloved, but when it comes down to it, nothing else can fill that hole!. Nothing in life is perfect or stays the way you want it to!. All human life ends with wanting, with unfulfilled desires!. Your poem embodies that!. Bravo, look into getting it published!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You are such a great writer!. The poem is so tragic but it is really brilliant!. I can't think of any adjectives to describe how great I think these are!. You have a great talent!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
That is absolutely amazing!. I like how with every word you make the audience feel the tragedy and sorrow!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
very good!. star for you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love this!.
The rhyming structure is very chirpy and sweet, which fits in with the general mood of the poem!.
It ends tragically, which is a massive unexpected contrast!. This keeps the reader engaged very well!.
I love the continuing metaphor of war, whihc could be used to symbolise the battle with your feelings!.
All in all a brilliant poem, wish I could write stuff like this :)Www@QuestionHome@Com