Don't think me too morbid, care to give me a crit on this new write?

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Question:

Swell

Rise up,
smell the roses
though wilted
and lame
Singed
are their edges
that scream
silent pain

There’s no rain,
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
no rain!

Prune stems
That were weakened
from worldly
demises
Pull thorns
from your flesh
licking up
compromises

And lies,
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
all those lies

Beg for
forgiveness’s
coming
too late
Roses
close to buds,
seedlings fall
to their fate

Selfish hate,
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
selfish hate

Dig deep
the earth,
dig it deep,
dig it well
Dust off
the marble,
primp ready
for Hell
Corpses smell,
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh,
and they swell!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I don't think you morbid at all!. This is your typical, smashin' rockin', poignant style!. The death of things needs to be described, beautifully, excrutiatingly, as you have done here!. The more it is mentioned, the less we will fear it!. Thank you for making me more and more fearless!. Great write, no critique from this side!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The poem touched me!. I can relate to it as a human being!. I've been out of touch with writer's markets for quite sometime!. But there has to be several publications out there somewhere that might want to purchase your little gem!.

No, I didn't think it too morbid!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very intriguing, this one!. Not morbid!. this was what I like to refer to as a window or view into another's perspective!. I agree with Neonman on dropping the "up" after licking!. Otherwise this is still a superb write!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well said for the subject!. One line: "licking up" perhaps drop the "up", it seemed to flow better for me as I read!. The title on this is right on and the end line brings it together!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Morbid smorbid, just good as usual!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very good!! It is subjectively morbid to some ;I would think!. I liked it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com