Position:Home>Poetry> A poem I wrote, opinions??
Question: A poem I wrote, opinions!?!?
*Stealing is illegal!. I will find you if you steal it (whether you think its good or not)
*If you don't like it I DONT CARE don't leave dumb comments like "you suck"
im bored and i wanna know what ppl think so let me know =]
*I'm not a professional you don't need to critique me lol!.
Do you really hear me when I say I love you
Or is it just the wind rushing past your face
Do you really understand that I need to be with you
Or do you just nod at your own disgrace
I see your cold eyes
You words are just bitter lies
If you are as true as you say you are
Will you still be with me near or far
Dont look away, I need you close
Your happiness I miss the most
Forevermore the eagles fly
The day they fall is the day we die
My intensity for you has overpowered me
But the shame in your eyes has blinded me
If you return, say well still be together
Better yet, say well be foreverWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i really like it, my favorite lines are:
Forevermore the eagles fly
The day they fall is the day we die
My intensity for you has overpowered me
But the shame in your eyes has blinded me
they paint a very vivid picture
nice work!Www@QuestionHome@Com
This poem does more telling than showing, but in a few lines you are showing !.!.!. I especially like the lines about eagles flying and when they fall is the day you die !.!.!. you have two very small 'spelling errors' !.!.!. in the last two lines it should say 'we'll' not 'well!.' Keep writing poetry !.!.!. this is a good start!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its good, although I don't like this question!. You asked for opinions then you say don't critique you and that if you don't like it you don't care!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
it was so unoriginal and changes themes
try not to go out of hte box and stay in the box
sorry its just like boring because unoriginalWww@QuestionHome@Com
I'm no expert but that is an excellent poem! Very well written and vivid and there's lots of feeling!. You have real talent! Do you have any others!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
*Claps* *Stands up* BRAVO!!!! BRAVO!!!! I love it!. It almost made me cry!. You should post more!. Star for you!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
You're REALLY good! WOW!Www@QuestionHome@Com
You have a good sense of rhyme and meter!. The ouvre is a bit limited, as this is a love poem!. Usually the poetry that tends to be really interesting is not so much a one-sided dialog between one person and another, but the ground-breaking of new ideas in word art!. This is not a criticism, I think you could do quite well if you explored other subjects than the other "you"!. And maybe you're just being economical, but "well" means one thing, "we'll" means quite another!. I think you meant "we'll"!. If I wanted a b/a I would have just said it's the best poem I ever read, but I thought I might encourage you to write more stuff, different stuff!.Www@QuestionHome@Com