Do you like this(very short)?

Question: Do you like this(very short)!?

Numb

Numb

As I reach out to kiss you,my beloved red rose
I watch you wilt in the claws of these thorns
Agony of doom spreads all over me
Numbing my senses to the pain of these slashes
And even to the dripping blood from my eyes
Cry not,my love for if we die here, we'd be born again
With all our will, to pour life to our wasted dreamsWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

It doesn't sound numb to me!. Nice use of symbolism!.
Nice free verse!. I am more of a old form
fan that feels that there should be a combination of
rhyme with tempo!. There are many worthy styles and you have your own
For instance I would say;
"Numbing my sense to pain of these slashes
while scarlet red blood drips from my lash's"Www@QuestionHome@Com