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Question: A poem rewritten!. Constructive Criticism more than welcome!.!?
"devolved"
Goddess of my feral love,
cleanse my soul of grief, relief!.
Delusions of myself as King,
In my heart you'd be my Queen!.
A man of mercy, I'll not be tamed,
Evil, no, we've naught in common!.
The Gods forgot me long ago,
I'll not accept blame anymore!.
My face seems aged as overnight,
The Lord my light, I take his hand!.
To the land, dreadful, yet real!.
You'll not be lost!.!.!.the chosen few!.
Soon we'll be again my love,!.
Where even angels fear to tread!.
On both our paths evil has crossed,
I give to you, your life a new!.
Seduced I was by nightly stars,
The moonless night, hidden scars!.
I saw, I heard, I prayed at night,
A lapse in reason, a pause in season!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This says to me that you have a girl who you refer to as a goddess because of your love for her but you n her have taken the wrong path so you can be together, Though you shall meet her on the dark side of life!. I must say that the poem, this 1part was a little challenging to decipher because of the comlexity you made it of without the use of big words!
The part is as following:
A man of mercy, I'll not be tamed,
Evil, no, we've naught in common!.
The Gods forgot me long ago,
I'll not accept blame anymore
If you ould not accept anymore blames, why is it that *so it seems* that blame brought you together in the dark world with your queen/goddess!?
Otherwise, somehow i feel lots of emotion like "You would sell the Devil my soul for hers" That shows great love man that part is deep!Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like this one it reminds of the ones you use to write to (j s ) i wont say her name because after you too argued you wrote terrible things about her!. I know it s no ones business but i think she brought a certain lightness to your writingWww@QuestionHome@Com
It is like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, ready to go and right all wrongs!. It is a fine expression of coming out of a mist in his mind into the light!. It is great!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
hi im back from vacation i like your poemWww@QuestionHome@Com