A short one, but I feel it lacks depth, what do you think?

Question: A short one, but I feel it lacks depth, what do you think!?

All is not what it seems
Low your head and fall in cloudy dreams
Drops of fire shall slowly crackle
Far safe from blazing December deeds

Cover yourself with hottest blanket
Feel a drop of sweat pass your brow
The wool shall tickle your reddened skin
Safe from knocking December wind

Hear the browned walls, now dark revealed
But all is not what it seems
Laid by the December sea
In tomb, forever safe from theeWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Okay!. I agree wit you that it is lacking something!.

The first stanza needs tweaking a bit!. Crackle is maybe not the best word there!.!.!.

Maybe in a different image you could try" Drops of fire slowly bleeds, far safe from December deeds!."Www@QuestionHome@Com

I actually really like it!. I like "hottest blanket" and "drops of fire" especially!. Good work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think you need to put lower your head--it's better!. You're doing better!.Www@QuestionHome@Com