New poem...i need critique?

Question: New poem!.!.!.i need critique!?

he did it in the end
with his dying breath
he did it in the end

if doubt me now
open your damn eyes
see the final thought

until the last
until it shows
will you cry

dense tears fill the void
hear drops of silence now

empty from the drain
sentenced to your grave

and in the ground you scratch the top
till your fingers bleed
bet you wish
this was a dreamWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

you have to make it more clear i cant really get a good feel of what its aboutWww@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!. a lot!. because yeah, it doesnt exactly tell me what your talking about, but thats the bauty!. it allows me to imagine, and alot of things could fit into this poem!. its great, and leaves lots of room for imagination!. Love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

only fags like Shakespeare write poems (Shakespeare was gay because he actually boned guys and he had a boyfriend)you dont want to end up like him!. unless you like himWww@QuestionHome@Com

awesome work! I dont think anything really needs fixing!. Totally ready to be published XDWww@QuestionHome@Com

It strikes a cord of melancholy!.!.!. it made me miss those I have loss!. That in mind, poetry it derived from emotion so, well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

sorry, dosent strike me anything special !. !. !.Www@QuestionHome@Com