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Question: What do you think of this poem!? I'm terrible at giving titles-can you help me!?
I thought maybe --The Forest Savior--I'm not sure
My path is long and winding 'round
through mountains tall and valleys deep!.
The forests bear a comforting sound
where the deer and redfox ever leap!.
Where babbling brooks meander slow
through caverns hung with heavy mist
and I in solumn worship go
to where the sunlights' gently kissed!.
The golden meadow in the wind does bow!.
I listen to the birds who sing
to such a one as me, will they allow
my innocence to the forest bring!?
Am I so different from them all
that they would slight me in their fashion!?
I realize my kind made the forest fall
but, I still love them with a passion!.
I am not like my fellow men
who tear down rocks and tree!.
Who kill the bear in her den
and slaughter wastefully!.
O, Lord, hear my heartfelt prayer!
Hear my endless plea!
Help me heal once was there
and return the earth to me!.
Let not the hands of humans burn
down your magesty!.
I pray that we would quickly learn
to love all that we see!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This appears to be be two different poems joined together!.
The subject remains the same but the writing style changes dramatically!. In the first part there is a thoughtfulness in regard to imagery upto (in the wind blows!.!.!.!.!.I hate the 'does' word!) and then it is as if you got into your stride and let the poem take you over!.!.!.!.not in a bad way, I hasten to add - just different!. You could simply put 'I' above the first part and II above the second - and create a division which would help the poem immensely!.
The forests bear!.!.!.!.this is a silly thing - but, I immediately thought of grizzly bears!.!.!. how about
The forest enfolds the echoing sound
of the crash of deer as they leap,
and the redfox returning to his den
avoiding as always the eyes of men!.!.!.!.(or summat)
In the beginning God created!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. (Title)
well, done - a creditable poemWww@QuestionHome@Com
I really liked it - the subject manner is very refreshing and promising that someone is spreading the word for forest preservation!. It will be a long and hard fight!.
I agree with Granny - seems like two different poems here - lines 12 and 13 indicate a change!. First one's title = Student of the Forest!. Second one = Nature's GuardianWww@QuestionHome@Com
Very, very beautiful and very thoughtful!. The change in form threw my for only a moment!. You could make a new stanza beginning with "I am not like my fellow man" and this would be no problem at all!. I like the title "Solemn Worship" taken from the 7th line!. You have created a very visual and engaging poem!. It was a delight to read and reread!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
maybe forest prayer!? im not sure on this one!.
i do love it alot and "Am I so different from them all
that they would slight me in their fashion!?
I realize my kind made the forest fall
but, I still love them with a passion!." is such a great line either way name or not its a fantastic poem great workWww@QuestionHome@Com
I like your poem very much!. The meter changes about midway through, but you can fix that if you wish!. The words you chose are descriptive enough that I can imagine myself there in the forest with you!. As for a name, how about "Entreaty" !?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Pretty good poem, I had a couple of meter issues and you should run spell check!. I don't particularly care about your title!. I think I would be a bit more mysterious, maybe "One" or "Green Redemption!?"Www@QuestionHome@Com
Natures pathWww@QuestionHome@Com
Loved the poem!. It is exactly what I like in poetry -- nature!.
How about:
Nature's Son
Nature's Protector
A True Man -- That's who I thought the speaker was!. Or just
SaviorWww@QuestionHome@Com
Very very good, Certainly an enlightening poem!. How about "Natures Eye" !?Www@QuestionHome@Com
How about!.!.!.
"A Woodland Plea!.!.!."Www@QuestionHome@Com
"passion of the woodlands"Www@QuestionHome@Com
Ghosts in the Mists!.
Of Time!.!.!.before, now, beyond!. Beautiful picture you've painted!.!.!.I want to walk those woods!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
"Flaw of Man"Www@QuestionHome@Com
Alright so your poem requires a bit of rethinking, but lets forget that, that is something which you can do later!. The poem itself is one of deep concern for the forest and nature as a whole!. It is of your concern of what man is doing to it, and even though you have played no part in this destruction you have a desire to want to do something about it, to repair the damage caused by man, and return it to its pristine condition!.
It is the meaning behind your words which are of more important than how you have set it out!.
I like it because its message is clear!.
RobertWww@QuestionHome@Com
well i dont really like poems but having that said, i think this poem is peticularily lame!. you should call it "I have no life"Www@QuestionHome@Com