Mothers day poem?

Question: Mothers day poem!?

You gave me satisfaction
you supported me through it all
when we went to the park,
we would always have a ball!.
through the inside and out,
i love you with no doubt!.
Although it doesn't always show,
you already know!.

help!!!? I want to present it on stage firday in front of the school and maybe even some mother's themself!. then I want to give it to my mom for mothers day!. I want it to be a bit longer and better rhyming!. helpppWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

thats a reaaaallllyyy good poem!!!
although i dont know how to help much, you can throw in some actuall feeling!. your pointing out the obvious!.!.!.!.i mean, every great mom would do all of those things!. BUT, to make it unique and represent it with a meaning to you mom, you could add in actuall events that happened to you two or how you feel about her :) it will be kind of like an inside joke because only your mom will know what you are talking about, and the audiance will also understand!!!
hope this helps!!! good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com

You gave me satisfaction
you supported me through it all!.
***We would always go out and have fun,
Until the day is done
when we went to the park,
we would always have a ball!.
through the inside and out,
i love you with no doubt!.
Although it doesn't always show,
you already know!.
***Here is a round of applause,
pat yourself on the back!.
***Your talent has helped me through it all,
So thank you very much, the mother who raised me is one of a kind, and just to tell you one more time!.!.!. I love you!.

(I hope its ok im not very good!.!.)Www@QuestionHome@Com

ok, maybe i'm a "bit" too freudan over here, but the "You gave me satisfaction" part sounds twisted!. if there would be any peopel in the audience that understood it like it hit me just now it could become troublesome!.

it looks ok, just fix the rythm in the last line!.
maybe making it a bit more personal!. what it meant to you etc!?

hope it pulls out alright!. *thumbs up*Www@QuestionHome@Com