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Question: What do you guys think about this Sonnet!?
I just wrote this for english class, and was wondering what you guys think about it!. Be honest, if you like it, say it!. If you don't, then say why you don't like it, and you can give me pointers if you want!. Thank you for all constructive criticism!.
When I look in your eyes I see our love
I see stars, the sky, and I see freedom
I see color, sparkle, and heaven above
I see all the glory of God’s kingdom
When you’re not with me, I’m like a caged bird
But when you enter the room, I’m set free
When your face is seen and your voice is heard
All I can think about, is you and me
I think about the love that we share
The good and the bad, we’ve been through so much
Yet I know our love is true, and that we both care
My reassurance comes through your touch
When your presence has left, my eyes shed a tear
But when you are gone, I know you’re still hereWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Good for you! Keep God in it!. I like it!. I think it's very nice!. What that other girl wrote was absolute trash!Www@QuestionHome@Com
oh my gosh that is AMAZING!!! I LOVE IT!!!! wow!!!!! great job!!!!! omg!!!!
I am being totally serious!! I really really like it, honestly!. you're a great poet!. I was just really excited, that's all!. :DWww@QuestionHome@Com
Good depiction!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i think it's very nice
keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com
It's sweet, a bit too sweet, tone it down a notch and try to broaden your points of reference to include things other than the usual cliched fodder such as "love" rhymed with "above"!. Keep God out of it as well if you can!.
How about this for a pointer:
Young girl there's a bulge in my trousers
I wanna take this further than the law allows us
Young girl, I wanna stick it in you
You've got breasts, and a muff
But the law says you're not old enough
Young girl, I can't stick it in you
and so on and so forth!.!.!.good luck!!.Www@QuestionHome@Com