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Question: My Poem for Review!?
To Awaken
How can I express what’s in my heart to you
Show you the abundant love inside
What miracle can beseech my soul to you
To unleash the kindred spirit inside
How do I shed this loneliness shroud I wear
And awaken from countless eons of despair
What miracle will bring your love to me
To lift this soul with care
How do I awaken from this slumber
The hellish nightmare of empty days
What miracle will usher the moments
To bond this love for all days
How so often I do dream of you
Embracing the love that hides
What miracle your love has brought to me
To awaken and know your love is mineWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Wow! That's really good! Sure it's confusing but if you really concentrate you understand what you are trying to say!. I think you should get it published or something!. Great job on writing it!!!!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's not bad, though I don't get where it's going!. It asks a lot of questions, it's got good use of metaphors in some parts, do'nt know what else to say!.
I personally like poems that teach something, or make a certain statement!. I hope you write more like that!. Think of something you'd want people to know they might not know already, and rhyme about it:)Www@QuestionHome@Com
uhh its not bad, but it seems cookie cutter to me!. I think you should scrap this, use different rhyme schemes instead of this!.
I've read this poem a million times!.
good luck next time!.
I give it 3 squashes (www!.rottentomatoes!.com to understand my ranking system) squash = bad, tomatoes = good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
it's good but try to be strait and simple!.
poem should come from the soul!.
so don't make it complicated!.
best of luck!. keep trying!.
---- Master!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Quit dreaming high!.!.!.!.that was totally corny and HORRIBLE!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
that was terrible, why does every teenager with a pen and a notepad think they are a poet!? Your life sucks- please die!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com