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Question: Poem i wrote!.!.!.i need critique!?
Empty Inside
Don’t dare me to
Take the risk you couldn’t
Couldn’t fall for anything
But yourself anyway
Fake the most we can’t
Take a step closer to you
But you run, you scream inside
Till your hair turns grey
Bloom anew, partake from the cup
And life will gasp for air
Forever you try and fail
The thrill is never yours
So it comes to suffocate
The weary, the tired, the useless
New-fangled beings of sincere
Honest emotion you wish to long for
So let it rage
The Hannibal you are
To free the weak from the honest
From the inherent wicked
What they took
From you to the gallows
To the end to return
Down the road for one last time
The last moment you thought you had
Is now a glimpse to the past
A reality unreal in every sense
In every pore you ownWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Good use of strong words -- they convey very emotional messages to the reader!. I get the feeling from the last paragraph that this poem is about a person's last dying moments, and they are looking back on their life and realizing that they have not accomplished anything they truly wanted to!.!.!.Not sure if this was exactly what you were going for, but there is a very strong sense of grief in this poem!. It's very moving!. The only thing I would change is the reference to "Hannibal," maybe add in a word more subtle (yet holding the same meaning) than that one!.!.!.other than that, great job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wow , i am really impressed, that was a very moving poem !.
Very well done , i think you have a real talent for this :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
awesome poem, ur a great writterWww@QuestionHome@Com