Position:Home>Poetry> Please comment on this?
Question: Please comment on this!?
The wild hurricanes are your ride
They're your grateful,tamed pets
The mountains bend to bear your feet
Angels wait by you're door
Love bleeds and blooms for you
But why are you on your own
Am i the serpent that hides in your fruit
Do i bear a lethal venom in my hood
Am i the fire that lit up green pastures
Am i the unknown ghostly sceptre you see
Im the leech that saps on your soul
Im the bitter chill that froze your life
This is what I've become for you
Perhaps i should dieWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
lol, I know this wont get me the best answer, but if you want honesty, it blows!. the serpent that hides in my fruit!? roflmao!Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is chilling!. The imagery is stunning throughout the poem!. "The mountains bend to bear your feet" and "I am the fire that lit up green pastures" are brilliant lines!. This shows intelligence and creativity!. Please keep writing!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
on line four, the word you're should read your because its possesive!. Obviously, there should be more punctuation, but you probably left that out deliberately!. there should be apostrophes on the "im" words!. Otherwise it's very goodWww@QuestionHome@Com
You know how I feel about your writing, I love it all!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
That's really good!. I'm impressed!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com