7 lines(edited)..please comment?

Question: 7 lines(edited)!.!.please comment!?

I use lies to lure the king of an empire
With fortresses built on rocks of hard truth
I don the beautiful face of the virginal maiden,
And mock the grace of the dainty snow white
I won over the king,im the apple of his eyes,but
Had the maker built in me an unrepenting devil
I could also have slept without squirms in the nightWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Wow, this is such a good rewrite!. The content has more clarity and there are some beautiful lines!.!.!."I don the face of the virginal maiden, And mock the grace of the dainty Snow White"!. The last lines are less enigmantic now and are, instead, thought provoking and powerful!. Great job!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very wonderful use of alliteration and i hear some nice sonics!. Hope you use your skills and write something more contemporary, it's 2008 dear :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!. It's really good!. Keep writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com