Position:Home>Poetry> Do comment on this?
Question: Do comment on this!?
I wish for more years of innocense
Even that it was a rape
Then i wouldnt blame myself
And decay like a dead bird
Flashes of him rubbing something scary
Between my breasts keep coming back to me
I want to slice off that piece of meat from my body
I swallowed his grit in a 15 year old mouth
With lips which i yearn to get replaced
I hate my privates
That were exposed to his rotten glare
Touched by his rotten crotch and arms
I hate my fingers that once held his filthy organ
I wish i could clip them off
For they haunt me with dark memories
Even in bright streets with fancy lightsWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
A good part one!. You brought me into your experience and I feel what you feel!. Some polishing and definitive statements would make it more clear!. Line 2 is the hinge on what you are saying in your poem!. I can go two ways as it is written!. 1) you are a victim of rape!. 2) you wish that you were raped to avoid your remorse of a poor choice made in a bad situation!. In fact, after several readings I tend to lean toward option two!. This makes my heart ache for you!.
The language is raw which helps to bring the decadence to the front of your meaning!.
Now for part two!. Turn this into a positive, find acceptance that you are a good person, that bad experiences build good character, that better choices avoid wretched living!. Thanks for sharing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its very good, once you get over it you will be able to move on!. Its normal to feel rage and to blame yourself!. I think you are in the process of healing, it takes time!. Keep writing because you are an awesome writer!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
SAD & EMOTIONALWww@QuestionHome@Com
WOW powerfullWww@QuestionHome@Com
It seems like there is an internal rage for this rapist which has deeply saddened the poetWww@QuestionHome@Com
Oh, my God Sweetie! I think I am gonna cry! Your words touched my very soul!!!!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
u need 2 tell someone express urself moreWww@QuestionHome@Com