This poem I wrote about drugs?

Question: This poem I wrote about drugs!?

Tell me how you like it please, I wrote it for a special person!.

She knows what it does
And she knows how it hurts me
She knows that it's bad
Why can't she just see

It's killing me inside
I know it's not worth trying
She could get addicted
And end up dying

I want to tell
But something is pulling me back
It would require courage
Which is something I lack

She had the trust to tell me
She thought I wouldn't care
How could she think that!?
I'm so stressed I'm pulling out my hair

I love her so much
And if she got hurt I would cry
But I need to find courage
However hard, I must try

Telling an adult will be hard
My mind will be mucked up
This is wrong, she 's only 13
This world is f****d upWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

You know what, far from what some others have commented, I think you have a really good poem!. I like the self-confession of the poem!. I like how there is that sense of irony in it - even though your friend is the one addicted, you show who is weaker than the drug user!. I'm not going to look at it what you are telling us, but the whole context of the poem on how it is being told!. I would use this as an example of good writing!. I'm really impressed with this poetry!. Another thing I like is the struggle to fight for against that self-defeating courage!. Great job! Hope you worked on that courage you sought!. Earns a, DAMN!Www@QuestionHome@Com

The fourth and the fifth paragraph are uhm!.!.!. so rude!. It lies heavy on the whole peom "how could she think that!?" (The question is too strong, I think)!. Then " I love her so much, and if she got hurt I would cry", (the rhyme of " much" isn't suitable)!. However, every last sentence of each paragraph is so good! But you shouldn't end with " This world is f!.!.!. up", it seems to me that everything isn't complete!.
A heavy heart, you!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's not a great poem in my opinion, but don't let that stop you! With some editing, it could be good!. I've never been one for profanity in poems, but it is good and can be better with some work!. The concept of it is very good, though and it explains a lot about the world today!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I dont know about drugs but your poem might drive me to drinking!.

Does everyone write poems like this!? I don't know where the desire to write like this comes from!. I once heard someone recite something like this about their love and I just couldn't help feeling sorry for the poor author having to someday realize how bad their poetry was!.

peace!.

P!.S!. Your content is good, I just hate the format-- sorry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You are so far into the wellness of addiction!.
Most people have no clue!.
Yes the first step is realizing it!.
But the rest of your LIFE is worth the other steps!.

Poems touch feelings!.
And addiction puts feelings so far off the map!.
Stay with your feelings!. Express them out loud to your group!.

You will learn about conflict with yourself and how to resolve it!.
It gets worse before it gets better, but it gets BETTER!
You have a fellowship of others just like you,
don't worry, we are always ready!.~peaceWww@QuestionHome@Com

i wouldn't want you to be my friend!. if you were you would definitely tell!. love would make you tell!. damn being a snitch!. she needs help!. she's to young to know the hell you enter into doing drugs!. run and tell!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It was good, but the rhyme seems forced throughout the entire poem!. It is good, just give it a good run through and try to make it sound more natural!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The poem is depressing and poorly written!.

It is terrible on so many levels!. Please don't let that be excuse to probe drugs farther!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

oh wow!. id suggest talking to her otherwise you may end up losing a friend and im sure you wouldnt want to regret not helping her!.very good poem but id suggest talking to your friendWww@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's ******* beautiful!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Aww!. That was so beautiful!.

Please encourage her to get help!. You're right; she could end up dying!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

question: were you under the influence of any illegal substance when writing this!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

that was really good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com