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Question: Above ye, your protection is built!. What think you of this simple work!?
The Roofer
Hammer fat grey nails through asphalt
Black tar
Its smell infecting you
Makes your ice-water taste like dying lungs
The sun’s fire is focused,
A laser beam on your head
The back of your neck,
You slowly cook as you hammer, hammer, hammer
The black floor you stand on is solid and your footing is sure
There is no fear of falling
As indeed the height is more background, distant television
And every so often a pause,
You stand and look up at the sun
Then down, on the subjects below:
You feel like a king in that brief moment in glorious light
Back to work then,
Tar-infused sips of water
And the hammering
The constant hammering,
The pounding on the heads below…!.
God, it’s hot today…!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Roofed a house once - feet so hot in tennis shoes that felt like they were sticking to the roof - sooo hot!. I worked all day - my arms were sore!. After lunch - I had to be helped up the ladder - I resting on another's shoulders - they pushing me up from behind - end of day - was dizzy faint - I had sunstroke - had spots before my eyes - just went to bed without eating!. Next day - back on the roof again!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Oh, I have had so many friends who were roofers so I know exactly what you are talking about!. I had one in particular who roofed my little cottage home when I was in university!. I offered to help bring him the tiles while he was on the roof!. At 80lbs a stack, I managed one!. The smirk on his face was priceless!. He made them look light weight!. Anyhow, your poem is very telling and descriptive!. The imagery is wonderful!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Roofing does not appeal to me!.!.!.having never done it!.!.!.but watched it being done!. Acrophobia sets in! Best done early in the day, or late in the evening! (Got interrupted, but you stated it very well! Note that the evil one is still about!.)Www@QuestionHome@Com
This I like!. Almost makes me wish that I did that type of thing!. Very peaceful!. I can imagine him falling into bed absolutely knackered!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Get job on describing the roofers job and smells!. The stanza on "king of the hill surveying" was one I enjoyed!. Not to thrilled on the laser beam on your head line!. The pounding on the heads below!.!.!.!.nice !.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Neonman has never (obviously) been on a hot tin roof, sorry I mean a hot tarmacked roof!.!.!.!.a laser beam on the head is EXACTLY what it feels like!. It feels as if the sun is concentrating all its rays totally on you!. How do I know!? Because I once painted my Dad's garden shed roof in the blazing sun - he gave me 5 shillings for my efforts- (25p)!.
The line lengths are a little odd, and could do with being adjusted!.
But, yep, I like this poem very much!. It ticks all my boxes!. I like a poet who can take ordinary things and create a poem for us, a poem which gives insight and makes us aware of other people's lives!.Www@QuestionHome@Com