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Question: My new poem!.!.!. ashes of the past!.!.!.do u like it !?
The way you smile when you saw me
Staying up late just to hear your voice
The amount of pain you took away from me
We were two bodies, but one soul
After spending the night with you
My head in your lap thinking
How beautiful life is
I missed you every second
You made me feel love
Waking up thinking about you
This was the best feeling
I never thought I could love anyone
Or at least as much as I loved you
When I was down you picked me up
Now that it is all gone
I can still see your face
I can still feel your heart beating
All the silly and funny things we did
I keep saying if only I could
Have one last monument with you
Then I realize we did
Now that it’s over
I keep you locked away
Forever in my heart
Good bye my loveWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
wow!.!.!. it brought tears to my eyes!.!.!. i felt every single word!.!. =[
xWww@QuestionHome@Com
This is a very nice and so sad poem about a love that was loved like no other!.I am glad your writing about her and getting it all out as now another chapter in life is coming!.!.well written and take care always your friend always CamiWww@QuestionHome@Com
Sounds more like a suicide note!.
Take it easy buddy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Totally Awesome! I absolutely love it! RoseWww@QuestionHome@Com
Wow beautiful poem post more i really like this one!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
excellent,wonderful, superb--it appears you have put your heart in it!. keep it!.all the bestWww@QuestionHome@Com
awesome!!.!.!.i like alot!!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
superbWww@QuestionHome@Com
u really are in love ;) nice poem!.!.!.!.send it to your love!.!.!.!.your love really needs it ;)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wow, excellent poem as usual friend
The way you convey such a common issue relating to love is incredulous and executed exceptionally like you always do!.
The pain of the persona at losing a loved one and the shocking reality of the situation towards him is depicted greatly and i also enjoy how you develop a theme of acceptance towards the end of the poem which is more noticeable when you said goodbye my life which acts an implication of his willingness to move on which is something all people in similar situations should do!.
The imagery you generate was excellent and of a high standard as it always is but your limited use of symbolism is unusual because ususally your poems are teeming with symbolism and figurative intricacy but this was advantageous in a way because it helped make the poem easier to comprehend!.
The 1st few lines were great, especially the description, 'we were 2 bodies, but one soul' Great choice as it was a more condensed way of expressing your bond or unity with that person!.
The way you elaborate about the activities you did with her and how this reinforced the compliance you had with her was great!.
As usual dude, well done!Www@QuestionHome@Com