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Question: My poem I made for a girl!?
Kinda cheesy!.!.!.but here it is lol!.!.!.!. I know some people say not to make them rhyme!.!.!.but come on!.!.!. :P
It's pertaining to the girl of this question:
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Anyways here it is:
"Almost a score of years,
I've roamed this earth,
Seeking night and day,
retiring to my hearth!.
Never before,
Have I seen,
the sight of all sights,
Danielle, and all her sheen!.
Your smile, your free spirit,
Open and full of glee,
unlocked without a doubt,
for all the world to see!.
Since dawn of this year,
harbored feelings, I did,
I've been quiet, I know
now, I open the lid!.
I confess all that is true,
of every color, of every hue;
without further adieu,
Danielle, I love you"
Yeap!.!.!.so what you think!? My sister says its cheesy lol!. Any comments/commentary is welcomed, good or bad!.
-Kob
Www@QuestionHome@Com
You know what Kob, taking it for what it is, a poem you are giving a friend or girl friend as a card or gift, it is actually good!.
It's better than some of the childish posts I've seen in this section!.
You use metaphor and rhyme well, and taken at it's basest, it's good for what it was intended for!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
That was totally HORRIBLE!.!.!.and your sister is right CHEESY and LAME too!.
The girl will LAUGH her *ss off and throw it in the fireplace or better yet flush it in the toilet!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Gorgeous!. I LOVE IT!.
I just got done reading a poem I wrote when I was a kid!.
"A day without flowers" God, I was retarded!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I applaud you for this poem, and I think the girl will keep it for a long, long time!. Good Luck !!Www@QuestionHome@Com
it may b cheesy but it came from ur heart i bet shed like itWww@QuestionHome@Com
It isn't cheesy at all, I would appreciate it, you know how to work a poem!
Here is a love poem I wrote, it is darker, set in a specific time period, and kind of sad!.
Until The Day We Meet
It would seem as quite a pity on such a joyous of events,
to be here in my position with such a wishful state of mind!.
So long ago it was that you were torn so ruthlessly from me,
so far you seem, that to the memories of thee, I’m nearly blind!.
So hard it must be, looking down upon me, viewing my laments!.
I suppose that it would be best to lay my sorrow down to rest,
though I could never request thy acceptance; I dream of thy pride!.
Condemn me to the blazing depths, yet these words, I shall soon regret,
if your last day could be rewritten, for, with you I would have died!.
Know I love you, though I take upon the royal family’s crest!.
Know as well that I betray thee not, indeed, I admire you,
for I wish of nothing other, than to have thy presence always!.
For one so fragile, so exhausted, you stood by me with such strength,
if only, I could give that same care for you throughout all thy days!.
Until the day we meet in flames, my love for you will remain true!.Www@QuestionHome@Com