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Question: Can you criticize my poem !?
How can I improve it!? also have you ever felt like this!?
Look outside, my soul has said,
Look at the trees and their newborn leaves
Wake up, life i not over,
Don't forget all your beliefs
Have hope, have brightness, and have faith
But in return, my words engraved,
What am I living for!?
It is impossible to trace
The meaning of existence,
If my heart blossoms like an apple tree, then
Anyone who's near will fell my fear
And once again I'll be a deer
Caught standing in the lights
I will be in delusion
And will see numerous illusions
Love will be one of them, it will
Blind all my common sense
And I will be isolated in an
Nonreturnable trance!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
yes, i have felt like this!.
great work!. one recommendation
is that you should try using the best words in the best order!. also stay away from the 'ands'
try not to let the stanzas sort of "hang"
try to complete them
other than that, i really like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Okay, Good Job, you did well,
a couple pointers
A+ on your flow,
B on your readability
an excellent manipulation of an "uncooperative language"
I would like to see a little more poetical metaphors and subtlety, other than than that, I have no complaints
thanx for hearing me outWww@QuestionHome@Com
I've been there, but the poem is cliched and tired!.
My soul cast its gaze about
in the birth of spring
waking to life's longing for itself
remember your nature and
bend with the wind and
wash with the tide
and liveWww@QuestionHome@Com