Position:Home>Poetry> What do you think of my poem "As The Moonlight Shines"? (link to the b

This is so filled with images that it brings tears to my eyes!. I love it!. I will think on these questions always, and so love to share it with others -- it is trancendental!. You have touched all universal themes -- and that makes for a great poet who relates to everyone without a single glance -- Sigh!

I added the line "I can't believe I'm alive, I can't believe I survive" and may have broken the poem into stanzas you do not want -- it seemed to fit to end each section with the haunting "I can't believe I'm alive, I can't believe I survive"!.

Thank you for sharing this with me, my tears and the pang in my heart!
Tori

AS THE MOONLIGHT SHINES
BY: TD Euwaite

What is it you see when you look up at the night sky!?
Do the tears fall out of sorrow or anger at the lies!?
What is it you see in the waves that crash into the shore!?
Do you wonder of a time when less was more!?
Do you know that in your heart I still can be here!?
As you crack open your beer, is it because death is near!?
Where do you pain, have you no sense of gain!?
Is it because the cold has overtaken what once kept you sane!?
Why are you sitting there on this dock!?

As your sobs thicken you toss into the distance a single pebble, a rock
When it drops into the lake, do you regret past mistakes!?
Is it really too late, with doom and gloom as your inevitable fate!?
How do you survive without what you had always relied!?
Will you rise up from the ashes of demise!?
The tears in your eyes as you again gaze up at the night sky
Will they even mean **** to any passerby's!?
I can't believe I'm alive, I can't believe I survive

Will I live to see myself at age twenty-five!?
As my watch reaches midnight I am consumed by the lies
And the only remaining answers wash over me as the moonlight shines
I can't believe I survive, I can't believe I'm alive

Who are you calling out to as you begin to instead scream and shout!?
What is this about, your growing sense of all-encompassing doubt!?
And why are you cursing the whole damned human race!?
Is it because your heart was broken and it left a fatalistic aftertaste!?
Was it a just from a failed 'chase' of a girl, or something else!?
An old friend who abandoned you, you scream, is this why in the sun your eyes melt!?
Or is it merely a product of your current fast life on the run!?
And do you really find comfort in your concealed gun!?
{I can't believe I'm alive, I can't believe I survive} --- added by Tori

As the shouting stops, why do you go right back to your beer!?
Does it help you forget that it seems like she's no longer here!?
Or does it maybe numb the pain of my departure!?
Is that why you have sought the legacy of an iconic martyr!?
As you pass out on this dock, did it make anything better!?
Would in the morning you even remember you had written her a letter!?
As the wind blows the double-sided pages into the lake
With everything to lose, how is it you perceive you have nothing at stake!?
I can't believe I'm alive, I can't believe I survive

Will I live to see myself at age twenty-five!?
As my watch reaches midnight I am consumed by the lies
And the only remaining answers wash over me as the moonlight shines
I can't believe I survive, I can't believe I'm alive

When all hope has vanished you look up to the night sky
And the light of the moon is the only presence, you say, understanding your cry
When you don't have a prayer you look up to the night sky
As the stars glisten you scream for lost times
But you know you're alive as the moonlight shines!.!.!.
{I can't believe I'm alive, I can't believe I survive} -- added by ToriWww@QuestionHome@Com

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I love it!! It really strikes a chord, you know!? You should publish it in a literary magazine or something!. (That's the first time I've said something like this about something I've read here on Y!A!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

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i love it!. =]Www@QuestionHome@Com

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