Rough draft? Critiques please? The eyes of the damned?

Question: Rough draft!? Critiques please!? The eyes of the damned!?

Oh, and I just turned twelve so this isn't gonna be adult quality!.

They watch her dancing
like an angel
out of heaven!.
They wonder how
she got here;
this Hell on Earth!.
This is the
castle of scoundrels,
the palace of
Ruffians,
yet all are caught
in her intricately
woven spell of a
Dance!.
She moves so lithely;
liquid humanity in
purest form!.
She twirls with
Abandon,
with sweat beading on her
Brow!.
She exists for this
moment only:
the wild applause
of the
Damned!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Only twelve!? Amazing! I can't really critique poetry because I don't study it that much!. The only writing I can critique is writing that isn't poetry!. But this is beautiful!. It has such a deep message to it that I can see vividly through your use of imagery and description!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i really liked this poem!. the only thing wrong is, you see when you end each line!? well that's where the reader is going to stop too!. the end of each line is what makes a poem powerful!.

They watch her dancing
like an angel out of heaven!.
They wonder how
she got here;
this Hell on Earth!.
This
is the castle of scoundrels,
the palace of
Ruffians,
yet all are caught
in her intricately
woven spell of a Dance!.
She moves so lithely;
liquid humanity
in purest form!.
She twirls with
Abandon,
with sweat beading on her Brow!.
She exists for this,
moment only:
the wild applause
of the
Damned!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is very good, especially if your only 12!.
You are certainly talented!.
I hope to see more from you!.
Nice work:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Congratulations, this is an awesome poem!. And you say your only twelve!. I'd say you're going to be a potent writer as you mature!. I hope you try to get this published, because it is amazing! If you do try to get it published, best of luck!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com