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Question: Whisper in the shadows!.!.!. my new poem!.!.!.do u like it!?
Coming to a complete stop
My thoughts are running on empty
Screams of pain and fury go silent
Blood tasting ever so sweet
Not having the ability to remember yesterday
Not being able to predict tomorrow
No one came for me… this is how I came to be
Wrong turns in the right direction
I never could hide… all the anger inside
Forgetting how you feel
My humanity starts slipping away
Leaving my mark on your tongue
I start to turn around as I start to let go
I am just another
Whisper in the shadowsWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Congratz on another one dude!.!.!.there are only so many compliments a person can give to another guy and i'm about wasted due to your superb poetry!!
and dude, i'd doubt if there was another person on y/a whom was better then you in poetry!!! Seriously, your symbolism and level of intricacy is something most people would find hard to beat!. You write in such a passionate, zealous way which is hard to imitate!.
Anyway, i loved this poem!. All your poems seem to adopt the same theme and foreboding, eerie atmosphere, yet you always seem to be able to present us with new, experimental techniques and methods which always raises your poetry to new levels!. This is an incredible attribute and one that differentiates you from other poets!.
I enjoyed the free verse structure because it seemed to harmonise so well with this poem because it complied greatly to the emotions and frustration of the persona!. The poem conveys an atmosphere of discordance and uncertainty and insecurity which makes the persona seem frustrated and furious and unable to cope mentally anymore and the choice of a non-rhyming meter and free verse structure provided you with more flexibility and less restraints to explore this feeling more properly!. This was a great choice!.
The symbolism and imagery used in the poem were of a high standard as usual and helped in the development and vivid clarity of the images!.
I enjoy your manipulation of the various poetic techniques such as your use of personification and your diction!.
I enjoyed the 5th and 6th lines a lot; They were great particularly in reflecting the frustration of the persona and also binded together!.
The 8th line was the best!! Wrong directions in the right turns!!
I intepretated this to be an analogy where the persona perhaps made the right decisions and choices and was co-ordinating these appropriately yet made errors in the articulation and execution along the way!?
You use of internal rhyme was also good to, even though you used it once!. I'm not sure if you used assonance, repetition of vowel of sounds in different words, (i'm not good at picking those up)
Dude, as usual excellent!!
and there is no1 better then you on y/a!. I've searched the poetry sections plenty of times!. You rock!!
g-lo is good and so was that one girl whom you claimed would be writing as good as you too in time!. Her poem was alright, but you are still the top of the food chain (a metaphor lol)
and your reign as the king of poetry of y/a won't be dismissed forever so honestly do it
Change your name from black night to King of poetry on y/a!!
How awesome would that be yah!?
take care dudeWww@QuestionHome@Com
This is a poem that is so fantastic in the words the vividly real descriptions and i absolutely love it all the way!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's really good! My favorite parts are the first 2 lines and the last 2 lines!.!.!.!.those last ones are beautiful!.
The phrase "wrong turns in the right direction" is food for thought!. Very good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Thats really beautiful, i think you have a real talent for poetry and I am glad you share it with us!.!.!. =]Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love the ending!. It's very good!. Well done, Sir!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yes!. It was really good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like your style!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yep, I like it!.
Nice:)Www@QuestionHome@Com