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Question: Part 10 of the series, how can I make it better!?
Road to Paradise part X

The twins
opened the road
of second sight!.
I could see Love
with my dreams,
in the hearts
of others
and I wept rain!.

"That was once mine!."
I said, hollow!.
"Now it's theirs!."
Jealousy smiled!.
"Don't you hate them!?"
Spite chorused!.

Hate, yes, no, yes!.!.!.no;
I would not bring back
that particular evil!.
"I mean, look at everything
that has been taken
from you!." Jealousy reminded,
bringing memories to the forefront,
and slim silver blades
into my back!.

"They deserve your anger
for the pain they caused!." Spite said,
planting a green seed
in my new wounds!.

Torn, I turned
to the only other soul
on this road!.
"Pain!.!.!." but what
could he do!?

"If you let me
hold you,"
he said,
"their voices will dim
and their seeds
will die!."

Which way,
torment or torment!?
No lesser,
two evils!.
"Will it hurt!?"

"Yes!." his eyes grew soft!.
"I'm sorry!."

I reached out my hand!.!.!.
he took it



!.!.!.silence!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
A green seed planted in the wound!.!.!. wonderful allegory and it does not become too overbearing that these are all parallels!.!.!. that is the show of a true artist and teacher!.!.!. very Whisper in a way too!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Really nice allegory!.!.!.I'm going to have to work my way through the nine other parts!.

I love the thoughts behind it!. The images of wept rain, slim silver blades!. The conversation with pain especially the apology!.

Compelling writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is achingly and poignantly painful!. "!.!.!.silence" has such a ring of finality about it, that single word!. I hope there will be more, this is just so sad!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The pain of ending this tale is also felt!. Great imaginative work, well crafted, gripping and most of all illuminating!. My compliments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Every feeling expressed above is mine also!. I have nothing to add!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

How very sad!.!.!.my heart just cracked a little!.Www@QuestionHome@Com