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I was going to give this a bad review as your rhyming comments on my last poem were pathetic!.!.!.however this is really very good!.!.!.!.!.!.bugger!.!.!!!.!.!.well done!.!.(grudging!.)Www@QuestionHome@Com

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Maybe a 4-5!.

"You were never there
you were somewhere else
i dont know where
but i needed your help

you looked down on me
when i tried
Turned your head away
when i cried
in your presence
i would hide
i was ALWAYS less
in your mind

This sounds too typical and rhymey!.

when vulnerable
you struck
always hitting like
a high speed bus
farther farther
and deeper it cut
like your lifes razor
in my heart forever stuck

This part is really good!. It has great flow and imagery!.

I'm not too keen on the end!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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its a 8/10 for me!.!.!.
just a suggestion but i would have written the ending like:
i'll never be there
i'll be somewhere else
you won't know where
but i won't give you help

like to show how much you hate him!.!.!. you hate him right!?
it'll sound kinda like getting revenge!.!.!.
but i dunno!.!. my opinion!.

on the third verse, i was really surprised how the words sounded right! like : struck, bus, cut and stuck!
i mean, they don't even look similar, but they sound similar!
wierd! :DWww@QuestionHome@Com

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GOOD GOOD 1-10 i give 9!.9 also!.
0!.1 is away because of punctuation!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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It's pretty good!.
With a little work it would be a great poem!.
(on the meter and some of your wording)
Nice work:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

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