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Position:Home>Poetry> Do you like my poem of want?Question: Do you like my poem of want!? *****
Mary Martin does her Washing by TD Euwaite Where, have you been Your shoes are all worn What did you do With your bushel of corn Did you fall By the wayside Or linger too long By the banks of the river Where she comes and draws Did you sit In the reeds And wait for her there Did you dream of her footsteps And glowing red hair Did she pass quite slowly And scent the fresh air Did you sit there alone Or, speak…say you dared *****Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: times are exciting my friend, communication is at an all time high, and poetry is communication at its finest!. keep the poems a booming man, i am here to read it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I don't just like it, I love it!. It's very contemporary in style and imagery!. It has strains of Robert Frost's vividness of description!. I can practically imagine the scene that you are describing!. Just one thing though, I'm not particularly fond of these last lines: "And scent the fresh air !.!.!.!. Or, speak…say you dared "And scent the fresh air" sounds too awkward even if you consider creative license!. As for the ending it seems disjointed and abrupt to me!. The power and rhythm of the first lines were lost in the end!. I suggest some big, unexpected ending to the poem!. Something that would titillate and surprise the reader!. Ask yourself: what could make that simple washing scene unconventional!? What's your big reveal!? A little polishing and you could discover a real gem in this poem!. Fabulous work! "In the end there are no endings, but just the start of new beginnings!.!.!."Www@QuestionHome@Com yes!.!.!.!.!.!.it has the flavour of a pastoral!.!.!. "Did you sit In the reeds And wait for her there!.!.!." for a moment i thought i was going through some pages of William Browne's Britannia's Pastoral!.!.!.!.!.!.!. the picture you painted here is just marvellous TD!.!.!.the last stanza is brilliant, amazing and more than all, it's a beautiful bud of romance!.!.!.along with the Irish Delight, this count my day!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Yes, this is very compelling - it draws you in - My suggestion for the final verse Did she pass quite slowly And scent the fresh breeze Were you there alone Or!.!.!.!.!.!.you must tell me, please!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I love the first stanza specifically!.!.!.It sounds like a pastoral, lyrical ballad!. =)Www@QuestionHome@Com TD, What do you think about me!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? You never knew Shad @)~>~ Do you still think about me!?!?Www@QuestionHome@Com Very interesting poem!. I like all of your poems!. You are so clever!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Yes, I do like it!. It is beautiful!. Nice work:)Www@QuestionHome@Com Yes!. SamWww@QuestionHome@Com Yes!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. we enjoyed it !!!Www@QuestionHome@Com |