An edited poem by Elysabeth, do you like it better. I used her revisions.?

Question: An edited poem by Elysabeth, do you like it better!. I used her revisions!.!?

"forgiven"

I beg your pardon,
tears never lie!.
Forgive me!.
I'm here, am I forgiven,
don't place blame!.
To hide bloody thorns
your time has come!.
My star has set
among amber leaves
shouts pierce the air!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

You learned from one of the best!. Well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You have quite brilliantly improved this poem!. I find it moving and powerful!. The imagery is vividly drawn with much more clarity now!. I simply love the last three lines, although the entire poem is wonderful!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

*blinks rapidly*
You're the one who wrote the original!!!! You had the bud that blossoms!.
Question is!.!.!.do YOU like it better!?
Kudos to you, my friend! Before you can revise, you must have something to work with!.!.!.and that, you had!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Much better, its very good and hits it's mark!.!.
It's great that you took advice about out those pesky lil tidbits and it really made a difference!.!.!.!.THE BIG E know's of which she speaks!.!.!.!.we would all do well to heed her suggestions!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Yes, her suggestions are very good!. The poem is tighter and flows easier!. I like this poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

mo bettaWww@QuestionHome@Com

good but very sad!.!.!.rather unbearable!.!.come on say some thing cheerful!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com