A poem to start the day. So far it is not that great a day. How is this.?

Question: A poem to start the day!. So far it is not that great a day!. How is this!.!?

"forgiven"

I beg your pardon,
my tears never lie!.
Please, forgive me,
don't even know why,
I'm here!.
Am I forgiven,
don't place the blame!.
To hide, bloody thorns,
your time it has come!.
My star has set,
among amber leaves,
shouts pierce the air!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

hey ! you write so well!.!.!.try to write positive !.!.!.!.!.!.life is already full of miseries !.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Odd to me was!.!.!.please forgive me followed by don't even know why I'm here!. Liked the lines "don't place the blame, to hide, bloody thorns!." To me, unless I am reading it wrong, this could use some more development!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Lines:
2---'my' unneccesary
3---'please' unneccesary
4---delete
7---'the' unneccesary
9---'it' unneccesary

And, this poem will mean exactly the same with this revision!
Good onyer!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Ok!. The last three lines improve with something better!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Love it alot!.Www@QuestionHome@Com