I need a 25 line funny poem to have memorized for tommorow?

Question: I need a 25 line funny poem to have memorized for tommorow!?

could u post sumWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

This is filthy but you may use it!. If it's too dirty enjoy it anyway!.
The eyebrow song

I have hair on my body near my little man bag
and so do those humans that go on the rag
ladies they're called but they don't have a sack
nor hair on their chest, their hands or their back

They wax and they shape their gorgeous girl garden
just thinking of it makes my dangle harden
they have hair on their head and some on their face
but not the chin hair like the males of the race

Eyebrows they're called and they pluck and they shave
then put on their glad rags and go to a rave
Some men do it too but I don't get their patter
they're too busy bumming to mix their own batter

you know the sort, like Elton, Boy George
they put their cast iron in a dirty brown forge
bumming they call it, that act between men
or sometimes a warm thank you between special friends

Now your eyebrows you see keep the rain out your eyes
eyelashes save your peepers from flies
beards are pointless unless your name's Jesus Christ
I won't tell you what I heard he gets up to at night

Let us just say that it involves darkened bushes
and i don't mean the hair near the hole where blood gushes

But enough of this crap, I won't go any further
If I don't pluck me eyebrows
There's gonna be a murder!Www@QuestionHome@Com

when i get up
i dont know if im truly awake
or if im still dreaming

its son easy for me to die
in love with a woman
born in my heart
in my head, in my soul!.

i wish it wouldnt be
so complicated to forgive
so i could live inside
all tears form my dreams

forget about the darkness
inside yourself, for what you
cannot get theres no one
else to bleme

you are not the only one
everybody needs some body
and i want somebody
i want somebody to loveWww@QuestionHome@Com

I woke up
this morning
to my dismay
found a pie
with two legs
that say i can fly
he said
wh dont you take a look outside
we can all see flying pigs
on the riseWww@QuestionHome@Com

The Walrus and the Carpenter
by Lewis Carroll

The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright—
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night!.

The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there,
After the day was done—
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun!"

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry!.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead-
There were no birds to fly!.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!"

"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear!?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear!.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech!.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each!."

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head—
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed!.

But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat—
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet!.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more—
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore!.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row!.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes- and ships- and sealing wax-
Of cabbages- and kings—
And why the sea is boiling hot-
And whether pigs have wings!."

"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
"No hurry!" said the Carpenter!.
They thanked him much for that!.

"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed—
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed!."

"But not on us!" the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue!.
"After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
"The night is fine," the Walrus said!.
"Do you admire the view!?"

"It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf—
I've had to ask you twice!"

"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"The butter's spread too thick!"

"I weep for you," the Walrus said:
"I deeply sympathize!."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchiefs
Before his streaming eyes!.

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again!?"
But answer came there none—
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one!.Www@QuestionHome@Com