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Question: Is this a true Rondeau!?
Home at Last
Earth's Luna shone full in the night,
I gazed at her with fond delight!.
Because she hid the twinkling stars
My heart and soul both longed for Mars!.
I know my choice to leave was right!.
In our new home the stars shine bright,
They are a new and startling sight;
No more in poets' repertoirs
Earth's Luna shines!.
We live with love, no need to fight,
Our new life's work is never trite,
Our poems glow like God's quasars,
We sleep in warm and gold boudoirs!.
As we look up at her lost might,
Earth's Luna shines!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yes, I would definitely say this is a true Rondeau, with the changing of shines to shone!. Honestly though, I like shines better with the ending of the poem, so you might want to consider changing it to "shines" in the first line of the first stanza, I don't know quite what that does for grammatical correctness, but it sounds beautiful in the refrain!. Wonderful, wonderful Martian Rondeau!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
By George, she's got it! What can I say - top of the class, !.!.!.egregia c*u*m laude!? Trumpet voluntary, the clashing of cymbals - let's all have a party! !.!.!.!.!.asterisks because ignorant AY thinks I am trying to write a rude word!.
The poem works so well, it fits the criteria to a tee, but is also conveys the achingly beautiful wistfulness which so often pervades your Mars poems!.
(and 'night' rhyme was an easy rhyme - but, boy, I bet you had to struggle with the 'stars' rhyme!. You pulled it off , though)
I might try me another one (not making a promise!)Www@QuestionHome@Com
I can not comment on the structure, because I am not familiar with it!.!.!.!.but the poem is very good!. Everytime you speak of Mars, you do it with such affection!. You write beautifully, Elaine and I hope one day I can join you all on Mars!Www@QuestionHome@Com
yes!.!.!.!.it is a rondeau Elaine!.!.!.!.!.and is beautifully made!.!.!.rondeau is a form hard to adopt but you have done it with such an ease!.!.!.!.!.
and these two lines are my favourite
"Because she hid the twinkling stars
My heart and soul both longed for Mars"Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is a beautiful poem Elaine!. I love how it flows so effortlessly!. I do not remember the rondeau structure, so I cannot offer an intelligent answer!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This Is one for the books, 'POETS OF MARS' !. I enjoyed it!.
Good work Elaine!. I loved the line,'WE LIVE WITH LOVE,
NO NEED TO FIGHT!.' Can`t wait to go to Mars to get some
of that!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's a true delight!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Luna does indeed shine on you!. Well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Mars is where I long to be
To set my poet's spirit free,
Free me from my earthen life
Give me Mars so free from strife!.
Our poems so diverse we read
On Mars we can bring forth our seed!.
I'd love to sit beside Elaine
Up on the Mars deserted plain!.
To write for her a lovely verse
She writes me one and it's not terse!.
We'll watch the moons go all around
And utter us not one small sound!.
Our minds are linked in one pure thought
To write a poem that can't be bought!.
A poem that is free to all!.
Who come to Mars and stand up tall!.
I wrote all that because I have no idea what a rondeau is!.Www@QuestionHome@Com