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Position:Home>Poetry> Will you help me make this better or offer critique?Question: Will you help me make this better or offer critique!? Clip my wings, for I
no longer want to fly!. Contentment I found in the sweet sanctuary of your arms!. Does time stand still, when one stops seeking!? Is the clock deceiving, when true love finds its way!? We may have been here only a minute, or did a lifetime pass!? I can only recall the count of every breath you've taken!.!.!. the rest is merely a blur!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: there is no need to modify this one!.!.!.it is already a beautifully written one!.!.!.and every critic i think must pause with one word 'lovely'!.!.!.!.!.yes, lovely it is!.!.!. "Does time stand still when one stop seeking!? Is the clock deceiving, when true love finds its way!?" these four lines are my favourite!!Www@QuestionHome@Com I've been correcting alot of poetry,Not to brag!.!.Ive done alot of featured in books to!.Yours is the first I came across and must say GOOD JOB! You got the talent!.Www@QuestionHome@Com This is lovely just as it is!. In bliss times illusion stands still, in reality it speeds by yearly!. Soooo enjoy live each moment to remember!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I have no critique for this poem!. You did a very fine job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |