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Question: Please rate my poem - Work in progress!.!.!.!.!?
It's quite a simple thing - yet reflects deeper meaning!.!.!.
Please judge!.!.!.
Is it only me!?
Is it only me…
Who finds darkness on the brightest day,
Who can never blow the clouds away,
Can’t say the words I need to say,
Is it only me!?
Is it only me…
Who hears the pain in a joyful cry,
And all the anguish in the “unheard” sigh,
Who seems to wait for the last goodbye,
Is it only me!?
Is it only me…
Whose endless tunnel is bereft of light,
Who dreams to be to be high as a kite,
Who knows - really - it’s all a bag of shite,
Is it only me!?
Is it only me…
Who sees it all as just a dream,
Who knows it’s never quite as it seems,
There’s really only ever one in a team,
Is it me!?
ThanksWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I have to agree, the rhyme scheme is very nice!. I like the almost condescending attitude, actually!. Humanity is so flawed and selfish, and I think that tone gives to the ideas behind the poem!. My compliments!. The structure is very organized!. My advice would be to throw some alliteration in there somewhere!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
There is a relentlessly self-centred approach which I'm afraid may put a lot of readers off!.
Try it without so many "Is it only me!?"
Too much of this is bogged down in cliches!.
I like the three-fold rhyme scheme though!. It evokes the continuing nature of despair!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You should make an account on fictionpress!.com and publish it on there!. People will hopefully review it for you!.
I have an account on there www!.fictionpress!.com/~theungreatful
Your poem is nice, you should write moreWww@QuestionHome@Com
it ok a little slow but good
rate mine
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like this poem well done!. would you take a look at mine please!.
http://uk!.answers!.yahoo!.com/question/ind!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very nice but I'm not sure what shite is!.!.!.!.unless you meant sh*t!.!.!.in that case it doesn't rhyme lol!. But nicely done keep up the good work!
AmberWww@QuestionHome@Com
it's alright a bit in your face might need modifying but otherwise i really enjoyed it!. it got your feelings across and i understood wat you were saying!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its a bit long for a poem isnt it!.
But good workWww@QuestionHome@Com
I like it, keep up the good workWww@QuestionHome@Com