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Question: A poem for sher!.!.!.how can I improve it!?
SIDEWALK DANCE
And she dances
to the rhythm
of the ridicule
from sun-blinded,
money grubbing
misers!.
Who is she,
starlight gypsy,
dancing to the tattoo
of her own beating heart!?
Why the ragged rainbow clothes,
dripping with silver chains
and operas!?
And why,
they ask themselves,
do they not
move along,
forcing her away
in their minds,
from their hearts!?
Could it be
they halfway understand!?
And still she dances,
a sanguine rhapsody,
calling to the
child that they once were!.
And while some
drift away, muttering curses,
others stay
curious!.
Who is she,
the starlight gypsy,
who fell from heaven
to dance!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Eva, this is beautiful! Thank you!.!.!.
I find it amazing that in this virtual world of Yahoo, there are people who understand my thoughts, and appreciate them, better than the people I see daily!.
I couldn't have asked for better friends than the ones I have found here!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Notwithstanding the superb and apposite rhythm that highlights the subject matter, and giving full credit to your usual dithyrambic eclat, yet still extolling the unique manner in which the author engages both the reader's intellect and emotions; yea, given all these and more notwithstandings, howevers and neverthelesses, I am compelled to say that this excellent poetic effort pales in comparison to the insightful, sage and witty comments that are the effluent that flows from the silent pen!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
words cannot do anything beautiful than this for a friend!.!.!.and this is what a heart feel for another!.!.!.
and for me there are two great phrases in this poem!.!.!.
one is the 'starlight gypsy' and 'a sanguine rhapsody'!.!.!.they evolved out of pure genius!.!.!.and makes the whole poem a work worth remembering!.!.!.!.very well done!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
the silent pen is not so silent
it scratches right along
maybe if it was looking
itd notice it was a 8 penny nail!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well said to the poem and your response!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Lovely, simply lovely!.
I could write a thousand words, but they would all come out to the same conclusion!.!.!.!.!. Lovely!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
After reading both, I believe you have written here exactly what Sher was thinking!. Nicely done!. Bravo!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
"That's what friends are for"Www@QuestionHome@Com
Throw it away and take up knitting!. Thats crap with a big CWww@QuestionHome@Com