Position:Home>Poetry> Looking for honest critiques or comments. Will you share?
Question: Looking for honest critiques or comments!. Will you share!?
FAIRYTALE
This is my song
for the moment!.
I watched you walk,
and touch,
and kiss,
and I remembered
when it was me you held!.
I know that you
thought we were
forever,
and I remember
breaking your heart!.
My nature is cold,
but not resentful!.
And I love you still,
but not, of course,
as before!.
So I will watch you
walk hand in hand with another!.
I will rejoice,
in your and my story!.!.!.
our happy never after!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
As it must be
there never is
the happiness
and bliss of others
but if we were
happy
by their price
we would not be
us
linked at the mind
and I am here
but you don't see
until
I speak
and listen
and love
I have always loved you
and for that
there is no shame!.!.!.
Sitting right next to you while writing this was a odd experience but not one that I did not enjoy!.!.!. *winks from across the room*Www@QuestionHome@Com
Mediocre!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
honesty and thoughtfulness, caring but not sorrowfulness for what should not be!. life as it is and kindness as it should be!.
well written and expressed beautifully!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I may not be able to lace in the words as my predecessors but I will say this much!.!.!. How the Hell do you do this! All the time, quality work, and I love the feeling I get from this!.
Even though I am not yet awake! I could still feel the beauty of your words!.!.!. TTYLWww@QuestionHome@Com
There's a lot of virtual kissing going on this morning!. It must be Friday!. I hope everyone gets their much deserved lip action this weekend!.!.!.TDWww@QuestionHome@Com
This is truly a melancholy poem!. Bitter and sweet!. You chose the right path!. Thank you for sharing your poem!. I enjoyed it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is beautiful and I love the sentiment!. Especially the line "My nature is cold/but not resentful!." That's such a beautiful portrayal of the person that I sense you are!.!.!.except I don't think you're that cold, with your poetry, it might be!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best way to judge poems is to read them aloud and hear how they flow to you!.
Record themWww@QuestionHome@Com
Remarkable!. I like the poet!. It's a really good thought!. I remember which second it recycled!. In this part:
In your and my story!. It is an errorneous structure!.
However, it is a remarkable poem!. I like how the poet is showing her frugal nature, and not steering a soap!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is perfect!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
seeing a new day is exactly that!.
or discovering a restaurant just
has only one good thing on the menu!. lolWww@QuestionHome@Com