Position:Home>Poetry> Me and my friend wrote this song, tell me if it going to make a good hit?
Question: Me and my friend wrote this song, tell me if it going to make a good hit!?
Break Into You!.!.!.
[Verse 1]
She smiled behind her dark mask
She hide all the shame inside
She walked through my thoughts and left
She layed her poisened lips
Underneath her shinfull skin
A beast that I cannot kill
[Chorus]
And I wonder is it real this time
Cause last time you just left me behind
Yes I want to break this lonely night
My dreams had to scream while seeking the light
I wanna know you
I wanna fell you
I just want to break in to you!.!.!.
[Verse 2]
This time i know my mistakes
Its not what you give its only what you take
Betrayal become by need
To make it right!.!.!.
To make her Bleed!.!.!.
Underneath my burning skin
A beast that she cannot killWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Without any idea of chord or structure Its hard to say!. In my honest professional opinion I would say no sorry!. Most hit songs generally have some kind of 'catch' or 'hook' that makes them memorable (therefore getting requested on radio etc alot)!. I cant see any particular hook that stands out!.
The lyrics are good but whats the meaning of the song!? Its pretty generic and again does not have much stand out quality in this area either!. From what I can see there is a lot of dark emotion in this song, do you think that is a theme that sells!?
Structure wise it might be a good idea to write some kind of bridge as after Verse-Chorus-Verse-Chorus (A-B-A-B), its nice to have a little variation (C section) rather than just do the old double chorus and finishing!.
Hope I havent hurt you too much, but thats my honest opinion from what Ive read!. But keep in mind I havent heard the song though so I could be completly wrong!. Keep working at it, ask your freinds etc and play live to see what response you get!. Everything ive said is kind of songwriting 'Law', you could make a huge hit by completly ignoring this but it is tried and true!.
Just remeber that there is a 'hit' song that sells and makes money and then there a song that feels write to you as an artist!. Dont get caught up in the 'hit' side and loose your creativity to sell recording (sometimes reffered to as 'selling out') as you WONT enjoy yourself, which is the most important part!.
I guess what im trying to say is, this is a good song, just probably not a commercial 'hit'!. Good luck to your music career and remeber, NEVER STOP MAKING MUSIC!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like it!.
not sure it would be a hit thoughWww@QuestionHome@Com
Heres a hint, If you think you have written a great song and you don't own it yet or anything, don't put it online for everyone to read and copy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
That's a difficult thing to answer!.
1!. It's difficult to hear what a song will sound like from reading it!.
2!. It's all about preference anyways!.
Above all, it's all about having fun!.
Good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i truly doubt it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com