Is this thing poetic?

Question:*****
Go Boy!
by TD Euwaite

You’ve caught me glancing again
This time, you do not look away
The casual peek soon becpmes a stare
With your face turned toward me
The smile is irresistible

The party goes on around us
I dance when you are not on the floor
Graze the buffet when you are chatting
I do all the polite things
With one eye on you

I discretely ask my sister your name
She says you are a friend of the bride
I say you are gorgeous
I sigh as you put on your wrap
Unsure if there would be a next time

I see you look at me
As you leave by yourself
As the door closes, I want to run outside
I can not move
I cannot take a step

*****

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: *****
Go Boy!
by TD Euwaite

You’ve caught me glancing again
This time, you do not look away
The casual peek soon becpmes a stare
With your face turned toward me
The smile is irresistible

The party goes on around us
I dance when you are not on the floor
Graze the buffet when you are chatting
I do all the polite things
With one eye on you

I discretely ask my sister your name
She says you are a friend of the bride
I say you are gorgeous
I sigh as you put on your wrap
Unsure if there would be a next time

I see you look at me
As you leave by yourself
As the door closes, I want to run outside
I can not move
I cannot take a step

*****

Yes, it's that moment frozen in time. Annabella beat me to it; we love the same poets.

It's good and poetic, but it sounds like it needs more of an ending. Maybe say how you regret not doing anything or what she does next, or something like that.

TD, hurry, make your move!

TD,
I would say this is a poem,
you write beautiful poems too
they can rhyme or don't have to
The poem talks about many things like
glancing to staring.
It also mentions about dancing.

It is poetic because it is about a fleeting moment, a moment that really did not exist, that does not lead anywhere (in the poem at least). It is poetic because it is about the unsaid, the unheard and the undefined.

Baudelaire wrote a poem about such a moment:

To a Passer-By

The street about me roared with a deafening sound.
Tall, slender, in heavy mourning, majestic grief,
A woman passed, with a glittering hand
Raising, swinging the hem and flounces of her skirt;

Agile and graceful, her leg was like a statue's.
Tense as in a delirium, I drank
From her eyes, pale sky where tempests germinate,
The sweetness that enthralls and the pleasure that kills.

A lightning flash... then night! Fleeting beauty
By whose glance I was suddenly reborn,
Will I see you no more before eternity?

Elsewhere, far, far from here! too late! never perhaps!
For I know not where you fled, you know not where I go,
O you whom I would have loved, O you who knew it!

Translation William Aggeler, The Flowers of Evil (Fresno, CA: Academy Library Guild, 1954)

really poetic TD....no doubt about it...it's something to read once and twice again and remember for sometime......well done!

Not only is it poetic, it's one of the best that I've ever read from you. I'm glad that there is more in you than gas.
P.S. My only suggestion is that you ignore any suggestion to change this. It works, don't fix it.

Yes,

I don't know anything about the rules of poetry, but that is certainly poetic to me. A beautiful story, that almost brings tears. Thanks for sharing it, Tidy!!

That is good !

~OM~
SFCU

yes. It is also real life. It rings of the truth.

Now, this is indeed worthy of another read!