Another short poem...do you like it?

Question:Here a hollow is with darkness filled.
Here fire and light can find no entry-
Furious they whirl and dance until
The suns fall to another country.
Enchanted by this star cotillion,
Made heedless of such perilous flight
Guarded by ancestral children,
I am consecrated to the night.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Here a hollow is with darkness filled.
Here fire and light can find no entry-
Furious they whirl and dance until
The suns fall to another country.
Enchanted by this star cotillion,
Made heedless of such perilous flight
Guarded by ancestral children,
I am consecrated to the night.

Do you ever write a bad one? The lair, the womb, the santuary. Night is day for the creature. So simple yet complex in meanings hidden. My compliments.

Only thing I don't care for it is the line "The suns fall to another country." I think you should replace the word country with something else.

Yes! I love it! My only suggestion would be to change country to county (or if you really want to get it and are willing to change it almost completely: villa). Hope I helped!

Sounds like the gravity in a black hole drawing everything into it. Beautiful imagery.

It was like classical music. You got it babe, the force of vindaloo is in you.

Just wonderful. Thought provoking.

Thank you for yet another masterful piece of your soul. You are inspirational!

This is really beautiful Amy.....something to read and be contented...good and beautiful work!

AmyG - I will admit that I don't know what this poem is about - but does that prevent me from enjoying it? Not one bit.

I love it when poets use some of the words at our disposal which lie there waiting for their turn (cotillion)

I agree with others - despite my admittance of ignorance 'country' didn't seem to fit. Could it be 'century' or 'galaxy'?

See how poetry works?...For me, 'country' is the pivotal point in this story. I love this one, Amy. Your best that I've read in a while. TD

Here a hollow is with darkness filled.
i have another poem mine is better than yours
Here fire and light can find no entry-
Furious they whirl and dance until
The suns fall to another country.
Enchanted by this star cotillion,
Made heedless of such perilous flight
Guarded by ancestral children,
I am consecrated to the night.