All of you who claim to like poetry...?

Question:I cordially invite you to comment (positively or not) on the following:

Now that the summer has emptied
and laughter's warned against possessions,
and the swans have drifted from the rivers,
like one come back from a long journey
no longer certain of his country
or of its tangled past and sorrows,
I am wanting to return to you.

When love affairs can no longer be distinguished from song
and the warm petals drop without regret,
and our pasts are hung in a dream of ruins,
I am wanting to come near to you.

From now the lark's song has grown visible
and all that was dark is ever possible
and the morning grabs me by the heart and screams,
"Oh taste me! Taste me please!"

And so I taste. And the tongue is nude,
the eyes awake; the clear blood hums
a tune to which the world might dance;
and love which often lived in vaguer forms
bubbles up through sorrow and laughing, screams:
"Oh taste me! Taste me please!"

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I cordially invite you to comment (positively or not) on the following:

Now that the summer has emptied
and laughter's warned against possessions,
and the swans have drifted from the rivers,
like one come back from a long journey
no longer certain of his country
or of its tangled past and sorrows,
I am wanting to return to you.

When love affairs can no longer be distinguished from song
and the warm petals drop without regret,
and our pasts are hung in a dream of ruins,
I am wanting to come near to you.

From now the lark's song has grown visible
and all that was dark is ever possible
and the morning grabs me by the heart and screams,
"Oh taste me! Taste me please!"

And so I taste. And the tongue is nude,
the eyes awake; the clear blood hums
a tune to which the world might dance;
and love which often lived in vaguer forms
bubbles up through sorrow and laughing, screams:
"Oh taste me! Taste me please!"

Better than most of the stuff masquerading as poetry on here. There are things I don't much like - for example, the use of the present continuous "I am wanting to come near to you" is clumsy - is English your mother tongue ?

I do read and write poetry, and am published, so I know a bit. My guess is that you have not written much yet, and don't read poetry. Suggest you read some modern poets: Carol Ann Duffy, Simon Armitage, Wendy Cope, U A Fanthorpe, as well as Larkin, Yeats, Auden, and get a feel for what you like, what works, etc. good luck

its good. keep up the good work.

Parts of this I really love. The idea of summer being "emptied" is a fantastic concept. I don't understand how laughter can be warned about anything. The rest of the first stanza is marvelous. I also think you've captured fantastic images with your metaphors in the second and third stanzas. My problems with the poem lie in the personification of the portion that is in quotes. It seems out of synch with the rest of the poem.

Bravo!

Not much rhythm in a poetic sense, but the words have a lot of meaning and feeling, so keep up the good work.

wow that is totally amazingly, beautifully, perfectly written poetry. man, sounds like something i'd read in a famous poetry book. is that in a book? if itz not you really should write a book someday, i'd totally lovvvve to hear more of your stuff. im so impressed cant you tell. good job ;]

At the same time archaic and yet an unschooled modern arrangement...cute.

Hmm, I like it.

It's very interesting. I like it. I like the imagery in it.

This is somewhat one of the best poems that I have read.

There are parts when I was reading this that I just shouted Bravo .

It's beautiful. Keep up the good work.

My Immediate reaction is I love it. It is so alive with feeling.