Just a short poem of mine...its been edited?

Question:Please comment, do you like it?

Its just the beginning

Shady clouds break out
white lit sky - hidden away,
Rain showers fall from heaven
Eeriness turns to gray,
Flashing lights a sudden outburst
Thunder echoes overhead
White strikes to the floor
The thunderstorm is bred

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Please comment, do you like it?

Its just the beginning

Shady clouds break out
white lit sky - hidden away,
Rain showers fall from heaven
Eeriness turns to gray,
Flashing lights a sudden outburst
Thunder echoes overhead
White strikes to the floor
The thunderstorm is bred

Cute poem
It talks about all the weather elements like the clouds a clear sky is hidden,
Rain showers fall from heaven
if it rains hard it will pound

its cute and simple...add some more feeling. meaning let us feel like were there with u.

good but its a little ruged

I think that while it's pretty short, it's very good. One line that sounds a little funny to me is "White strikes to the floor" but I'm sure that if you rearrange or reword it it 'll work out great. Nice work!

yea i love it so much my friend said it is sad

add some more descripton to make it feel like we're there with you, and be more discriptorybut a very good base of a poem, ur a very good writer

makes me feel chilly, when it rains , specially if its thunder and i love it!

good very good you should make some more