Last poem for the night. How do you like it.?

Question:"sacrificial"

Reach deep down inside of me,
take all my pain away.
Through this pain I define myself,
I'm exhausted beyond belief.

Remind me of my need for you,
while you bring me to my knees.
With only truth I love you true,
you're the only one who cares.

All my emotions shattered,
left broken on the floor.
I know I have a jones for you,
but remind me who I am.

Only you know all my pain,
you've been where no one could.
I can't make it without you,
for so long I've been decieved.

When this world now fades away,
I know you belong with me.
As I drop down to my knees,
make me pure one time again.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "sacrificial"

Reach deep down inside of me,
take all my pain away.
Through this pain I define myself,
I'm exhausted beyond belief.

Remind me of my need for you,
while you bring me to my knees.
With only truth I love you true,
you're the only one who cares.

All my emotions shattered,
left broken on the floor.
I know I have a jones for you,
but remind me who I am.

Only you know all my pain,
you've been where no one could.
I can't make it without you,
for so long I've been decieved.

When this world now fades away,
I know you belong with me.
As I drop down to my knees,
make me pure one time again.

Another dark, furtive plea for love. The line "I know I have a jones for you" seemed out of place for this piece. The last stanza troubled me in that I do not like reading about posessions as in "I know you belong with me" how about "I hope..." . The last line my suggestion would be to try: "make me pure...once more." Overall, this has merit and is worth revisiting to refine it as only you can.

It is very good:)

wow...it flows really smoothly and also youve applied a lotta emotion...i really like it =)

thatz really good. is it about God? just wondering...

WOW....i really love this poem full of true feeling...keep it up steve ...i will pray for you as before,,,,,,more now...(((hugs)))

double thumbs up

emotional pain is very intense and very much a part of you and to tell the truth, i think you have learned so much from suffering-as i have- that it is a blessing to have known these depths so that we can choose to rise above even more

This is another good poem. Intensely heart felt.

Very good. I feel for you. I hope you find some peace somewhere.

I have to agree with Neonman, the line /w jones does seem out of plaxe. There is of course lots of emotion in this beautiful poem

Thanks for shariing