I even wrote a love poem for someone. How is this one.?

Question:"burning desire"

Candlelight and sliken sheets,
your supple body, rising heat.
The two of us becoming one,
making love til the morning sun.

Our bodies mingle then we kiss,
tonights nothing but our bliss.
I hold you tight, you're all I need,
we're making love, I hear your plead.

My whole heart belongs to you,
I trust you know what to do.
Our family starts this moonlit night,
conceived in love by candlelight.

Our bodies move in rhythym now,
hips together, we know how.
As we touch and kiss our tongues,
you are the air that fills my lungs.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "burning desire"

Candlelight and sliken sheets,
your supple body, rising heat.
The two of us becoming one,
making love til the morning sun.

Our bodies mingle then we kiss,
tonights nothing but our bliss.
I hold you tight, you're all I need,
we're making love, I hear your plead.

My whole heart belongs to you,
I trust you know what to do.
Our family starts this moonlit night,
conceived in love by candlelight.

Our bodies move in rhythym now,
hips together, we know how.
As we touch and kiss our tongues,
you are the air that fills my lungs.

I find the poem both romantic and sensual. I feel your love and desire. I like this poem very much.

so...what exactly is your question?
i like this poem...even though its about 2 ppl having sex. lol.
but i think its well written.

WOW!!! ur good! it's heart filled and beautiful ! although it's about sex! ^_^

you seem to know what your doing...in bed....and on paper lol

good stuff

Kind of a bit perverted. But it WAS very well written, even though it had sexual themes.

very well written nice rhythm but eww that should not be displayed on the computer that is between u and ur gf

I notice that you have a new coterie. Their responses fill me with delight. Maybe because some of this sounds as if it were coming from a high school cheer leading team.

"Our bodies move in rhythm* now,
hips together, we know how."
The imagery of those ripe, nubile, post-pubescent maidens cheering you on in the execution of your amatory endeavors warms my weary soul.

*Note spelling.
"your plea" or "you plead" Choose one, don't mix them.

It's good, but i would call it a 'sex poem' not a love poem..
Well Done though

Jeff makes some good points. I would also like to see some better development of the act of love that is subtle and builds suspense and love. Nubile is a great word

Its extrememly well written... but beyond that,, i can't say a word.. lol