Would you like to ride along with me?

Question:*****
Are we there yet?
by TD Euwaite

The hooded figure at my door
With scythe and boney brow
Comes uncalled to visit me
To ride the Coach d’ Bauer

I struggle at the stoop and beg
“You turn and leave from here!”
I count out coins in his palm
They drop, then disappear

The carriage door swings open wide
The reaper grabs and swings
I pray to God with feeble swears
“Do not dispose of me!”

I struggle long against the foe
Fight him tooth and nail
But as my strength abandons me
My death grip tires and fails

So here am, in his sedan
Shackled to the floor
Waiting to be deliver’ed
Upon Saint Peter’s door…

*****

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: *****
Are we there yet?
by TD Euwaite

The hooded figure at my door
With scythe and boney brow
Comes uncalled to visit me
To ride the Coach d’ Bauer

I struggle at the stoop and beg
“You turn and leave from here!”
I count out coins in his palm
They drop, then disappear

The carriage door swings open wide
The reaper grabs and swings
I pray to God with feeble swears
“Do not dispose of me!”

I struggle long against the foe
Fight him tooth and nail
But as my strength abandons me
My death grip tires and fails

So here am, in his sedan
Shackled to the floor
Waiting to be deliver’ed
Upon Saint Peter’s door…

*****

The rhyme is very smooth and clean. Nothing seems forced at all. It reminds me of a few confronting death poems by Collins or Simic.

Well done.

Very nice. (Pssst . . . if you're shackled, I hate to break this to you, and not to put too fine a point on it, but you might want to set your sights a little lower as to your final destination.)

Love it.
I like the irony and diction of "My death grip tires and fails."
I think you might have forgotten "I" in the 1st line of the 5th stanza. It says "So here am, in his sedan" I think it should say "So here I am, in his sedan." It makes the rhyme smoother, too.

Good job!

I agree that maybe you shouldn't go to Heaven. It's up to you.

Not my time, he is here for you. Now when he comes for he will just open the door and at the gate I will be. Are you in a group where you get together to write about the same things?

Golly, TD, when I saw the question I was in the mood to go out joyriding...then I read where you landed up...I think I'll pass...next time, lets all take a joyful trip somewhere here on earth, lol. Nice poem!

Edit: I just noticed that the thumbs down fairy's been visiting your questions too...I just gave all the people above me an extra thumb up (without even reading their answers) because I can't stand when people come around with those bad thumbs).

Nice poem TD ..........Too tired, the brain can't function right

I really did enjoy it ..........& gave everyone a thumbs up also

Those Damn Faeries

This is so good TD.......actually have no words to say...it's really really good!

TD I'm really glad I came across you. Oh wait you found me, either way f how we met. You always get me one way or another. You are an original voice and I dig your stuff.

I am not quite ready for this yet. But I am scared all the same.

No, I think I'll take the bus. Great piece though!

It reminds me of an Emily Dickinson poem, "Because I could not stop for Death." Except that Emily did not care to put up a fight. http://academic.brooklyn.cuny.edu/englis...