I need a title and ur critique on my poem please?

Question:Relizing I wasnt alone,
All thats left is picking up the phone.
As soon as u said hello
You knew I was very low.

Not a friend I have about
you heard me about to shout
Before I shed a tear
I opened my eyes & faced the fear

Asking u questions of "why should I spare this life of mine"
"My heart so bleeds
nothings left for my other needs

The burning in my eyes
told me I was about to cry
The pain is very real
unfortunatly its all I feel

Tell me all the things
and the feeling they bring
Festering from your wounds
leading u to thoughts of doom

I listed all the things
my heart aloud me to bring
Telling someone all this stuff
was really pretty tough

You never gave me the blame
its hard not to feel shame
Knowing u truely cared
made it easier to share

I wanted to die
from these feeling sdeep inside
Not knowing how else to think
helped me to sink & sink

Deeper that I went
made it easier to forget
Things I used to like
up & took a hike

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Relizing I wasnt alone,
All thats left is picking up the phone.
As soon as u said hello
You knew I was very low.

Not a friend I have about
you heard me about to shout
Before I shed a tear
I opened my eyes & faced the fear

Asking u questions of "why should I spare this life of mine"
"My heart so bleeds
nothings left for my other needs

The burning in my eyes
told me I was about to cry
The pain is very real
unfortunatly its all I feel

Tell me all the things
and the feeling they bring
Festering from your wounds
leading u to thoughts of doom

I listed all the things
my heart aloud me to bring
Telling someone all this stuff
was really pretty tough

You never gave me the blame
its hard not to feel shame
Knowing u truely cared
made it easier to share

I wanted to die
from these feeling sdeep inside
Not knowing how else to think
helped me to sink & sink

Deeper that I went
made it easier to forget
Things I used to like
up & took a hike

It ended well, but all poetry does not have to rhyme. I had a sense at the beginning, words added for the sake of rhyming, even though to point got across. It didn't "sing", and would not sound good read aloud (see Lady Lazarus by Sylvia Plath).
Punctuation, you need it for emphasis. Spelling, don't take shortcuts.
One line I cringed on..."pretty tough". Don't use 'pretty'.
Overall, I got the message, but read some writers of poetry and take ideas, learning. If you redo this poem, it could be very very good.
Don't ever stop writing....

i like it a lot. its sad and gloomy but the rhyming gives it a certain whimsical feeling to it making it unique. the end is the best i think

Savior to Realities Nightmare.

suggestions for this poem:
break the rhyme at the end of each line if necessary. sometimes a free verse poem comes more sensible. (remember, in making a good poem, the choice of the appropriate/best word is a must. do not be afraid writing a word not rhymic with the rest) Try reading your poem a lot more times. This is a dramatic poem, the tension must build up as you pass by every line.
Also, notice your line breaks. A good poem consists of lines which can stand alone.
look at these:
"and the feeling they bring"
"was really pretty tough" et.al.
Every line must have a sense,that is, each already tells a story other than just being fragments.
Try to compress this and revise in a way that you do not lay down everything a reader could readily understand and that's it. Remember, you have to make the words linger in the readers' minds.

Your poem has a hope! Revise and read more poems to inspire! Good day and goodluck!

Over All--Title--critique-please go back and check your spelling and please use the full words like you and and. I like the message. It's a little rough. Some of the lines could be better. Aloud should be allowed. Use punctuation correctly and if you don't know where find a grammar book to show you where. All these things will make your poem better. You have good ideas now put them in order and write them out better. I think you can do it.