Help, comments on poem!?

Question:Please be nice or constructive criticism. , shes only 11 & has to turn it in to her class for some Earth day thing. And can you think of a title? She needs one badly!

Once the trees grew tall,
without anyone to cut them down.
Once the rain fell clean,
sweet
and fresh.
Once the forests stretched forever,
breathing,
living.
Once the sky glittered,
with a million stars,
the only light.
Once the oceans were fresh,
filled with fish,
a rainbow of life.
Now the trees die young,
now the rain falls dirty,
now the forests shrink,
now the sky is blank,
and the oceans are grime.
And who kills the beautiful earth,
the hands,
the greed,
the blindness,
of man.
Things will change,
only if you began to care.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Please be nice or constructive criticism. , shes only 11 & has to turn it in to her class for some Earth day thing. And can you think of a title? She needs one badly!

Once the trees grew tall,
without anyone to cut them down.
Once the rain fell clean,
sweet
and fresh.
Once the forests stretched forever,
breathing,
living.
Once the sky glittered,
with a million stars,
the only light.
Once the oceans were fresh,
filled with fish,
a rainbow of life.
Now the trees die young,
now the rain falls dirty,
now the forests shrink,
now the sky is blank,
and the oceans are grime.
And who kills the beautiful earth,
the hands,
the greed,
the blindness,
of man.
Things will change,
only if you began to care.

=] It's pretty, especially for an eleven year old. I do have a couple notess..

now the rain falls dirty,
now the forests shrink,
now the sky is blank,
and the oceans are grime.
---
This part, the continuous nows are unneccessary. It'll probably sound even better if it says..
Now the trees die young
and the rain falls dirty.
The forests shrink
and the sky is blank,
the oceans grime.

All I did was vary structure and length, a very helpful tool taught by my Creative Writing teacher.

Also::

And who kills the beautiful earth,
the hands,
the greed,
the blindness,
of man.

I think punctuation needs to be edited here.
And who kills the beautiful earth?
The hands,
the greed,
the blindness
of man.

Lastly, I think the ending would sound a little better if it read
Things will change,
if you begin to care.

It's very good!! ^^ All it needs is a little tweaking, and even now, especially for someone who is eleven, it's totally an A+.

Titles...
Hmm.
If You Begin To Care
Once Upon a Caring
To Change Earth

nice.

how about "Blind" or "earth"

The last line should read
only if you begin (not began) to care

Title it:

"Only if you Begin to Care"

It's a really good poem by the way.