This is a poem I wrote. I want to know if its true meaning shows. What do you th

Question:My wings flap lazily over the daisy..
those eyes you claim to see gazing at the sun
and the bare teeth of those spotted arms,
of course they must fancy you.
For I am this creature,
and you hide because of it.
False facts linger, haunting your logic.
And as I do flutter to this rose,
with the fire so crimson embracing my darkness..
of course I must be danger.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: My wings flap lazily over the daisy..
those eyes you claim to see gazing at the sun
and the bare teeth of those spotted arms,
of course they must fancy you.
For I am this creature,
and you hide because of it.
False facts linger, haunting your logic.
And as I do flutter to this rose,
with the fire so crimson embracing my darkness..
of course I must be danger.

at first I thought it was about a butterfly and the cacoon/but than decided a bee.

I think you are talking about a bumble bee. i may sound a little childish, but you refer to wings and flowers. You also might reference humans.

Hi! Poetry is one of my first loves. You can get help and critique for this and a pretty good (albeit small) community on the forum section of poetryx.com.

If I were helping you there, I would advise that you not write riddle poems. Emily Dickinson could get by with it — A narrow fellow in the grass occasionally rides ... But people were generally more poetically literate in those days. Not so today.

Some things point to a bee in your poem, but others do not. Bees do not flap their wings "lazily" — so my first impression was butterfly. If it is a butterfly, the threatening parts might refer to camouflage, making a harmless creature appear dangerous for its own protection

There are more important matters to work on here, though. Some of the language is too stilted for a modern poem. Avoid such phrases as, "And as I do flutter ..." English just isn't used that way anymore

False fact linger ... Wait a minute! If they are false, then they are not facts! So there can be no such thing as a "false fact."

You change "voice" in Lines 5-6, saying "For I am this creature/and you hide because of it."

That should probably read:

I am this creature.
You hide because of me.

I really like Line 1. The internal rhyme is beautiful (lazily, daisy).

Keep up the good work, though. I'll be seeing that dangerous butterfly in my sleep tonight, so you've accomplished your task.