Please, critisise my poem.?

Question:My black man.

I've lost virginity today,
Tomorrow I'll be judged.
'Cause he is black n' anyway,
I am a snowy-white.

I've heard some Russian people say
That I am like a whore.
I shouldn't stay, I shouldn't stay
With my black man no more.

He had a loyalty to me,
He treated me like queen.
But y'all got now a nerve to say
"With him I'll never win.'

My black man died in ninety-six
So I can't sleep no more
Nobody treats me like a queen
Y'all treat me like a whore.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: My black man.

I've lost virginity today,
Tomorrow I'll be judged.
'Cause he is black n' anyway,
I am a snowy-white.

I've heard some Russian people say
That I am like a whore.
I shouldn't stay, I shouldn't stay
With my black man no more.

He had a loyalty to me,
He treated me like queen.
But y'all got now a nerve to say
"With him I'll never win.'

My black man died in ninety-six
So I can't sleep no more
Nobody treats me like a queen
Y'all treat me like a whore.

You start the poem as set in the present but then you say the man died in '96. Or do you mean that the woman has a new black lover she has a physical affair with and that she also had another lover who died in 96?
What do Russians have to do with it?
Is this about discrimination based on color or pre-marital sex? Or both?
Describe the community the poem is set in. We don't know what time or place this is.
The narrator is a white woman as you imply but she uses ethnic slang. Is she a white woman in an ethnic community? Again, time and place.
Write more.

emotional, and fluent great poem

Get a life, write something better! Or do yourself in.

good poem. but i don't know why you chose to write it on that topic

If you wrote it out of experience I would say it is nice and well said even it is sad. Sorry he had to die in the end. Colored men are plenty out there. Try to start new and let the past rest............

Love knows no color. I'm so sorry he died. Nice tribute.

cool good and best poem yar