Would you read my poem about Dreams that will not come true?

Question:Read this:

My dreams

I had dreams
I know will come true
But what did the world seems
That made me blue

Looks like I’m trap
I couldn’t get a nap.
It is somebody’s fault
That I couldn’t see and talk

What if I’m there and it happens?
I’d be the gladdest person you’ve met.
I’d smile and laugh at puppets
And buy a wonderful tea set.

Well, it’s time to go home
From my house I can see me alone
Reading a poem fine…….
Of lost dreams of mine.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Read this:

My dreams

I had dreams
I know will come true
But what did the world seems
That made me blue

Looks like I’m trap
I couldn’t get a nap.
It is somebody’s fault
That I couldn’t see and talk

What if I’m there and it happens?
I’d be the gladdest person you’ve met.
I’d smile and laugh at puppets
And buy a wonderful tea set.

Well, it’s time to go home
From my house I can see me alone
Reading a poem fine…….
Of lost dreams of mine.

Honestly, it's forced and not put together well. That doesn't mean it doesn't have any good ideas but you just have put sentences in there in a hodge podge of ways that rhyme but don't make much sense. Try it again and read it a loud to yourself and listen to it to see if it makes real sense to you. don't stop writing just because someone says there's a problem with your poem. Just fix it and keep writing. I'm not being mean I'm just trying to help you.

thats sweet :]

id giv it a 6 1/2 out of ten. some of it does not hav rthym but i like the last paragraph

very good, sounds like a wonderful dream, many great poems began with dreams

nice