My poem- did you get emotion?

Question:She sits in the corner
She hardly survives
her school is murder
No one can see her
And though no one knows it
In corner she dreams
That shed have a friend
Someone to help her through
To hope that she’ll make it
Until the end
She thinks that no one cares
If she dies
And at night alone
In her bed she cries
What's the point of living
If you just want to die
Why stay in torture
If this could be done
So tomorrow at school
She’ll take her dads gun
She lets out her anger
Through the black trigger
So maybe she could hurt them
as much as they hurt her
Then off to judgment
She sends herself away
And people don’t miss her
And people don’t pray
Now through her whole story
You stand with your friends
You tease her each day
And you don't make amends
If you had just talked to her
Maybe shed have stayed
You could have saved her
And the people she slayed

He sits in the corner
And barely survives

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: She sits in the corner
She hardly survives
her school is murder
No one can see her
And though no one knows it
In corner she dreams
That shed have a friend
Someone to help her through
To hope that she’ll make it
Until the end
She thinks that no one cares
If she dies
And at night alone
In her bed she cries
What's the point of living
If you just want to die
Why stay in torture
If this could be done
So tomorrow at school
She’ll take her dads gun
She lets out her anger
Through the black trigger
So maybe she could hurt them
as much as they hurt her
Then off to judgment
She sends herself away
And people don’t miss her
And people don’t pray
Now through her whole story
You stand with your friends
You tease her each day
And you don't make amends
If you had just talked to her
Maybe shed have stayed
You could have saved her
And the people she slayed

He sits in the corner
And barely survives

It definitely creates feeling. I really felt the loneliness of this girl, and the resentment and anger that she felt.
I loved the last 2 line verse, the cliffhanger so to speak. I'm torn between my interpretations, see at first glance i feel his a lone victom, in similar pain now his experienced that horrific event. But i also wonder if its a clue to him heading down the same path as the main character.

This is really good work, well done.

Your deep mannn..

Well, yeah, I can see where it's going. I think if you put better adjectives in there it would be better. And who is this sudden he person? You need to link it together somehow. Tell me who he is. Is this someone she's shot? You have put different tenses in here she-you-he- and there's no linking to them. You have some good ideas going. You just need to reassemble them in the correct form. Keep writing.

deep and dark, my kind of poem

cool yar
i also cant wright so nice poem

that is so long yet so sad. well done as you have got the emotion.

It's pretty good.
It reminded me of the movie Carrie. Based on the book by Stephen King.

That movies freaks me out so much. Even though some scarier seeming ones don't. Probably partly because of the anti-Christ in it.

But anyway, yeah, I guess I got the "emotion" in the poem because it made me think of something that really freaks me out.
Good job. :)