A short poem? Cough, Cough,?

Question:What can man not do without?
A snout.
The weed obnoxious stands steadfast
A smoke at last.
With butts in his pocket he stands supreme
Not concious but in a heavenly dream
Thats shatters when theres nothing left
But wait a minute, A dog end, My luck holds fast.
But I'll have to make the next lot last.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: What can man not do without?
A snout.
The weed obnoxious stands steadfast
A smoke at last.
With butts in his pocket he stands supreme
Not concious but in a heavenly dream
Thats shatters when theres nothing left
But wait a minute, A dog end, My luck holds fast.
But I'll have to make the next lot last.

not bad, but i won't pretend it's the best i've ever read.

i usually attempt to give contructive criticism for poems, especially when it's been asked for. perhaps your time would be better spent if you did the same.

Are you still here?

Sounds like either a famine or a feast!

next stop the hospital.

heavenly dream - try replacing this , it's a cliche

Love the cough cough.How appropriate

Don't quit your day job. :p

That's a nice poem and you ought to write some more and get them published you are a proper Pam Ayres arent you.

LOL
the music is Great , so is it,,, *** The Poem *** !!!

hah pretty much my life in a poem =)

That's cracking and very witty xx

i think its beautiful...
i can really relate to it.

So, this is your poem? Humph, not really clear cut is it. Theres should be there's if you meant to say there is in a contraction. It's not so great.

Mediocre and banal.
Not much of a story, is there?