A poem for TD...How can I improve it?

Question:Pinch me

A parcel...
came for me today.
It was a vision,
a sight to behold.
I greeted the carrier
in an unusual way.
I may have been a bit too bold.
I grabbed the package
from his hands.
Into my house I ran.
I gazed down at my envelope.
Brown and bound with packing tape.
The color of moisened sand
Several surprises,
await in there
the moment is now at hand.
a pencil and a paper
with editors notes
I thought was oh so grand.
With these things,
I'll never part.
And,
This BOOK...
I'll will forever hold...
deep
within my grateful heart.
But,
of all the treasures I did find,
My fondest memory will be;
when the envelope, at last did tear
a scent of TD's late night hours
and
cigar smoke,
did fragrantly fill the air.

Can you see...
this smile on my face?
Can you hear..
me laugh and yell?
I just experienced...
my very first...
real life fairy tale.

Thank you TD

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Pinch me

A parcel...
came for me today.
It was a vision,
a sight to behold.
I greeted the carrier
in an unusual way.
I may have been a bit too bold.
I grabbed the package
from his hands.
Into my house I ran.
I gazed down at my envelope.
Brown and bound with packing tape.
The color of moisened sand
Several surprises,
await in there
the moment is now at hand.
a pencil and a paper
with editors notes
I thought was oh so grand.
With these things,
I'll never part.
And,
This BOOK...
I'll will forever hold...
deep
within my grateful heart.
But,
of all the treasures I did find,
My fondest memory will be;
when the envelope, at last did tear
a scent of TD's late night hours
and
cigar smoke,
did fragrantly fill the air.

Can you see...
this smile on my face?
Can you hear..
me laugh and yell?
I just experienced...
my very first...
real life fairy tale.

Thank you TD

Thanks. That made me all mushy...

It's perfect as it is. And it's about time you received it. You seem to be one of the last.

I have never been good with the nity-gritty of poetic improvement... I could only tell you how to search deeper inside your own form of expression to find new words and a way to better yourself... but it seems you may be just as far if not farther than i... I love your poems!

I just got my book today, too! And I actually hugged the mailman! I love your poem, as will TD, I am certain. It really is like a dream come true, or a "real life fairy tale".

It's a good poem. change the i'll to i (will ever hold...)

Well spoken. Fairy tales travel well.

I am still waiting no doubt it will not be simple if it is special to me.
I am so happy you feel like this congratulations I feel your excitement.

I think it's fabulous the way it is.

So, that's why the mail man was grinning!
My turn comes next! "'Fairy tales can come true..."

I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Does this have anything to do with the Red Planet?
I'm still a newbie, but you guys all seem like a fun bunch.
Either way, congratulations Spytfyr.

it's already too good! and any improvement done to this will make it a masterpiece!